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Apparently, the Olympic opening ceremony is going to present a vision of rural Britain, a land of fields and ploughmen, cottages, cows, sheep and horses, of Glastonbury, cricket and the Proms. But some people, like Simon Jenkins in the Guardian smell a rat and suspect that’s a cover for a much more surprising, radical show. They might be right – especially as it is that very tradition, rural vision that is right in the cross hairs of the Government and their developer friends who so kindly helped them fashion the new Planning approach. Should the name of the ceremony be changed from “The Isles of Wonder” to “Goobye to all that”?!

Either way, you can’t help wondering, if it is supposed to be rural Britain shouldn’t there be some windfarms spoiling the view or large blocks of new executive housing mushrooming everywhere? No sign of them yet. Maybe that’ll be the big surprise – a vision of Britain AFTER the current planning regime starts to bite?

Still, one thing we DID spot – some mysterious humps and bumps! So hurrah, ancient sites aren’t forgotten. On the other hand, will they still be there in Vision 2, after the newly-empowered Wimpeys have come a-knocking? Who knows!

And finally, one feature of rural Britain we DIDN’T spot in the display were crop circles. A good thing too judging by what’s happened lately. Since the best human circle makers stopped doing it the standards have dropped disastrously. Who’da thought it, Aliens are rotten at making crop circles. Look at this year’s batch so far, embarrassing or what?

Things have got so bad that there’s more-than-a-rumour that some of the so-called crop circle experts who have been making a fat living out of it all for decades have been sneaking out making their own to feature in their websites and books! Let’s hope that if crop circles DO feature in the Olympic ceremony they are at least well fashioned ones that Britain can be proud of, not rubbish ones made either by money-making humans or cack-handed aliens!

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