Latest theory: “Stonehenge utterly pointless”

It seems that Stonehenge is rarely out of the news these days. Hardly a week goes by without new ideas and theories about it’s purpose. The recent laser scanning project revelations will no doubt stimulate yet more.

On the other hand, it’s sobering to think that everything that has been written about Stonehenge is speculation and therefore may be untrue. In fact according to this latest theory, it is:

“SCIENTISTS have started a fresh excavation at Stonehenge in the hope of confirming, once and for all, the ancient monument’s complete and utter pointlessness. Recent advances in carbon dating and DNA testing technologies now point to it having absolutely no purpose whatsoever. Henry Brubaker, chief archaeologist at the Institute for Studies, said: “The ancient Britons quarried these giant stones by hand, dragged them hundreds of miles from Wales, lifted them into place, stared at them for a bit, then wandered off and never came back.”

Important archaeologist: “This is just some Welsh rocks thrown up in the middle of nowhere for no bloody reason. It does my head in. If I have to watch one more scraggy hippy dancing round here at solstice, I swear to God I will get a JCB and plough the whole lot into the ground.”